Have you ever felt like you’ve overgiven? Not gotten what you needed in return or was the exchange completely off?
I always chalked it up to being “kind, caring’ compassionate, empathetic”. This is what people like me experience & that’s just the way it is.
Except it doesn’t have to be. When I began to sense that my giving & receiving windows were off, I didn’t initially label it as disrespect & definitely not as self-disrespect. But the truth is, that’s exactly what it is. The heart doesn’t feel valued, cared for, or open. And if I can’t access my heart, I can’t access the pulse of power, the treasures it holds.
The idea of Care Currencies came as I chose to sink even deeper into what it means to ‘care for my energy first.’ It’s nice at first glance, ‘Care Currencies’ but what it’s really asking for is courage & choice.
The courage to choose me daily.
If you enjoy speaking the language of the Gene Keys, 63 expands on this kind of self doubt in its shadow state that completely numbs our needs. You question everything about yourself and in that severe self abandonment, you look to others to validate your existence. But this type of validation is empty. The kind of meal that looks fulfilling at first glance but is actually empty calories.
Validation isn’t necessarily bad. It serves as a check in point when we have that deep desire to connect with others over our expression. It only begins to rot when it becomes the only thing that we turn to for safety. Our needs aren’t being asked for or received because we don’t feel safe enough to ask & receive.
No one wants to be taken advantage of. It doesn’t feel good, and we’re feeling beings. We thrive off of emotions, and our primal senses. I’d watch the saint that is my mother give & give until her body broke down. Being misused robs you of growth, and the ability to breathe deeply & feel deeply. It forces you to find solace in the pathways of transcendence- “If you have, you give, no questions asked.” Well, I have questions, lots of them.
Why didn’t our caretakers know how to care for themselves?
Why wasn’t that the first thing we learned?
If I have, why can’t I keep it?
I’ve noticed that when I’m not allowed to pierce my experiences with questions, the cauldron of self doubt festers.
The Undefined Heart in me is here to learn & understand the wisdom of value. The art of exchange. To recognize that when I choose to give, choose being the operative word, I must receive something back. It’s the natural rhythm of Earth & so it must be the natural rhythm of myself. There’s something so honorable about an equal exchange. It’s the breeding ground for clarity, healing, space, resources, adoration, friendship, mastery & love. These are just a few of the Care Currencies available to us when we care for our energy first. When we say “I don’t feel like I’m receiving what I need, so let me slow down, check in & ask for it.”
I’m learning so much from my closest girlfriends about this. How this type of deep care & devotion to self is actually reparenting the child within that didn’t get to simply- ask for things. And more specifically the things it desired, it wanted, & ultimately needed to be fully expressed.
Our wants are not vapid, empty, or shallow daydreams. They are the fuel to this reality creation game. They are clues & x’s on the maps of our souls. Following the breadcrumbs of desire are at best, ripples of acquired pleasure unlocked from the core of our DNA & at worst a multi-sensory experience you can’t get anywhere else.
In short, desires are the existence of life. You are Life.
It’s a trip to see this energy so vibrant in my kids. They could spend hours imagining all the things they want to receive & experience. And better, they expect those requests to be made! How much time do we give ourselves to inquire about our own needs? No personal feelings attached, not seeing ourselves as separate from being cared for, shown affection to, respected.
Closed mouths don’t get fed. Tight fists don’t get filled.
“Doubt is born when you lose touch with the wonder of your imagination & confusion comes about when you rely too heavily on logic”
-Gene Key 63
There’s something so liberating about ‘the ask’. There’s audacity, charisma & a sense of humor, that a time before now you had to silence your pleasures.
Well, no more. Inquire about them. What are you going to need to show up to that call, create that art, and be in that relationship? Don’t doubt, inquire. And at some point, we’ll end up at Truth (the Siddhi of 63).
Here’s my truth: every internal request connected to our truest Sense of Self deserves to be met.
Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki- big cap vibes.
Sabian Symbols, if you’re into Astrology, you’ll love these.
lemon balm, yarrow & blue lotus flower (morning & night)
listening to /
this podcast ‘Biomimicry, an Operating Manual for Earthlings’
my boards on Pinterest, such a shores moment.
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Jas you are brilliant! Thank you for sharing these deep truths about care and currency and asking for what we need, no matter how big. My undefined heart loved this reminder!