Rushing To Nowhere
“The truth is there is no meddling God. I am God within God.”
A new lesson around slowness is emerging. It’s a bigger ask than last time but I already feel that saying yes has shifted the rhythms of my life. While a small part of me remembers this edge, there’s another part of me that knows some of the biggest things I’ve asked for are behind Slow.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been doing more inward creation, a kind of inner vision gestation. As a 3rd line, you have to get used to every day the plan shifting. Paired with a Definition like mine (wide split) your rhythm will be a lot roomier than most.
As a wide split, I need a lot of gates to connect my four Defined centers to even get a semblance of cohesion & direction for my next steps. Because of this it takes more time than the mind would like to get things going. I need others. I need their auric energy to get my ideas out of me and into the world.
Before I understood this aspect of my design, I believed I was being punished. Living in quicksand, stuck, a desire to run but ultimately rushing to nowhere. I would go to execute my yes only to be stopped a few meters down the road. I’d curse at Spirit. Imagining a meddling God, playing the strings from the heavens and using me as the puppet for tonight’s show.
The truth is there is no meddling God. I am God within God. And through this, we can see there’s a bigger story at play. One that includes more than myself. I have co-stars. Wardrobe. A film crew, hair & make up. So as much as we’d all like to imagine it this way, you & I are not a one person show. No one is.
In this new slower than molasses slow, I’m asking more profound questions. Receiving more simplistic answers. There’s a pace I didn’t take advantage of the first go around 6 years ago when I began my experiment, so this time I’m all in.
We’re birthed in cycles.
Live in cycles.
Grow in cycles.
Die in cycles.
And in each cycle, all that wants to happen is more life. Easier. More. Flow.
I watch my kids & I’m jealous. They’re so damn good at flow. At manifestation. No formula, just ask, wait & receive.
I get this kind of slow isn’t for everyone. There’s a lot to wade through. After all awareness is a luxury. There’s a certain privilege we have. To be able to devote our time, energy & resources to becoming more aware. If you didn’t get to keep your awareness in tact from birth, like the rest of us, you’ll have to choose to invest in getting it back- that’s the game, Lila.
Gene Key 52 is my Pearl. Not only is it embedded in my life’s work, it’s where Jupiter has hidden my abundance- in Stillness. I oscillate between the falsified fear of missing out (52’s shadow) & the reverence of Restraint (52’s gift). I think we all do. Even still, 52 recently brought me this gift. Tucked in the chambers of frustration. A new outlook I’ll be etching into the underbelly of my path.
Slow is now:
SENSUAL. It’s intimate in that it wants to connect you to missing pieces for optimum pleasure. Intimacy is the source of self-inquiry.
LUXURIOUS. It has an abundance of time, space & resources. It doesn’t rush & is never late. It takes its time shuffling through all the outlets and distilling down what will serve & what won’t.
OPULENT. It only uses and searches for the highest quality nourishment, voices & translations to bring diversity & differentiation. This is where true expansion happens.
WISDOM. Its pearl of wisdom is a result of lived a experience looked at from multiple angles & perspectives. It’s not afraid to come back, look again and make refinements. Information is fleeting but wisdom is the foundation for legacy.
The attached audio was a real time witnessing of this new SLOW. In it you’ll hear a bit of my frustrations around not being able to initially understand it, grappling with its reasoning for being here & ultimately allowing the question to hang when I run out of steam.
What I do know is that I’m sitting on thousands of words, questions, and thoughts on Awareness, all saved in files. The epitome of living with a natal Mercury rx. I can see why I haven’t ever shared it before. To gather it together now, a luscious drip. The reward of restraint.
I keep seeing the vision of us gathered, pouring tea, hearts open, minds available. In real life & in the digital ethers. Speaking, learning & exploring together. Indulging in the art of daily living. Caring for our energy first.
I’ll go live next week Tuesday or Wednesday evening on my personal IG to continue weaving a bit more of this. I’ll send a reminder before then. My hope is you’ll join me. If not, the replay will go up on the Erah YouTube.
x jas
PS.
I wanted to say a big thank you for pledging your supporter as a paid reader. I decided to open up pledges because a few lovely people wanted to show their support for Erah financially. And I am truly grateful for that. That said, I’ve now decided it’s best to shift my creative focus on The Springs & really build that out. From now on all posts created on here will be available for everyone to access, no paywalls. I’ll still keep pledges open for anyone that wants to support in that way but if you’d like to adjust your subscriptions to what feels best for you, please do so.
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I can feel the light in my heart a little more after this audio note 🤍 thanks Jas
Thank you for this share Jas. I so deeply connect with you on this personal season of slow. As a creator and a mother, I definitely feel the beauty and luxury of time slowing down as a gift. It feels open and liberating, like you said, a time to play and experiment, but the de-conditioning still remains the biggest obstacle. Although the voice feels more quiet, I can still physically feel the pull of guilt and feelings of should. What I should do... what I should do... what should I do? Your messages feed my soul with the collective energy I needed to feel. Thank you for this reminder today 🖤